Personal Development

These are my posts covering my trip to Spain from packing on April 5 to the morning after on April 25. Read from the bottom to the top. Follow me on Twitter. http://twitter.com/LaurieWeiss

1. Pillow to pillow 24.5 hours awake, 23 hours travel time. Now, after 8 hours sleep thinking about food and suitcases. about 10 hours ago from web
3. Downloading my email in the Philadelphia airport after a pleasant 8.5 hr flight from Barcelona.3:11 PM Apr 24th from web
5. Starting to transition to my other life. Wonderful day at the pool with my grandsons. Sad that this time with them is over. Leave early AM.2:52 PM Apr 23rd from web
7. Reading: “Become a Blogging Maniac » Week 2″ (http://twitthis.com/anl8de )2:45 PM Apr 23rd from TwitThis
9. “Rhinoceroses can kill things. They have smelly breath that is poison.” A (age 4 1/2) to E (age 3)1:35 AM Apr 22nd from web
11. Getting ready for bed after a glorious day of sightseeing on the Mediterranean coast of Spain­only 2 more days to enjoy this vacation.3:17 PM Apr 21st from web
13. It’s hard to remember all of who I am when I’m mostly “Grandma” so I posted 4Things Meme on Facebook http://tinyurl.com/ch9qgd 12:13 PM Apr 20th from web
15. “…increasingly, individuals are turning to coaches for help with every sort of problem.” - Boston Globe http://tinyurl.com/cytpjv 11:08 AM Apr 20th from web
17. Funny to know it’s only 3pm at home and bedtime here. I can scarcely keep my eyes open after an afternoon exploring a medieval town.3:03 PM Apr 19th from web
19. Wow! Finally frist Begur album, grandchildren on and off beaches and 3 of Dali Museum http://tinyurl.com/c6rk48 3:21 PM Apr 18th from web
21. Too tired to remember how to upload photos of the Dali museum to Facebook. I’ll try again tomorrow.2:46 PM Apr 17th from web
23. “The aim of argument, or of discussion, should not be victory, but progress.” Joseph Jobert http://www.RelationshipHQ.c… 2:29 PM Apr 17th from web
25. Just enjoyed a private class with my Paris based, Jazzercise instructor daughter, Rachel Claret. http://momzen.blogspot.com/ 3:58 AM Apr 17th from web
27. Remembering Barcelona fishmarket: Fierce Fishmonger video http://tinyurl.com/c3v2cp 12:35 PM Apr 16th from web
29. Waiting for the interminable cycle of the Spanish washing machine to complete itself so we can hang the clothes and take boys to the beach.2:41 AM Apr 16th from web
31. More photos from Barcelona on Facebook http://tinyurl.com/c5vaj8 9:58 AM Apr 15th from web
33. People who learn to ask for what they want experience less stress and more joy. Thomas Leonard http://tinyurl.com/c5geye 1:36 AM Apr 15th from web
35. Question of the morning­how far from Paris to Hong Kong, Paris to Denver, Denver to Hong Kong. Thank you Wikipedia.1:05 AM Apr 15th from web
37. Starting the day cuddling 4 year old grandson. What a treat. Followed by 8 year old and 10 year old. Checking distances around the world.1:04 AM Apr 15th from web
39. Are you a coach looking for a “bigger game to play?” Learn how to take it up a notch here:http://tinyurl.com/c5geye 7:04 AM Apr 14th from web
41. Coffee in the square, fresh warm baguette and great cheese.Looking at the ocean while littlest grandchildren nap. Vacation is great.6:34 AM Apr 14th from web
43. @THetherington Lots of women find baldness sexy. Divorce is about other things. http://www.RelationshipHQ.com 12:50 AM Apr 14th from web
45. Here is where Jonathan and I am today http://tinyurl.com/chkgfl complete with 4 grandsons and their parents.4:28 AM Apr 13th from web
47. Barcelona photos: http://tinyurl.com/cdee4c 12:42 PM Apr 12th from web
49. RT @brad_callen has a cool, new FREE tool to massively increase the number of Twitter followers you have! http://www.twiveaway.com 11:05 AM Apr 12th from web
51. Sitting overlooking the ocean on a cold, rainy evening in Begur–North of Barcelona–Waiting for family to arrive–cozy, beautiful music.11:02 AM Apr 12th from web
53. Getting ready to leave Barcelona and drive to Begur. Today is cold and damp and shops are closed for Easter–a good time to travel.2:32 AM Apr 12th from web
55. Parc Geull http://tinyurl.com/c93r5y beyond belief!4:05 PM Apr 10th from web
57. Rejoicing! After 60 hrs we have all our bags in showery Barcelona. Parc Guell highlight of the day.4:05 PM Apr 10th from web
59. Enjoying gorgeous, cosmopolitan Barcelona­1 bag of 4 arrived­3 went to Madrid?? US Air only only gives info 5 hrs/day.2:21 PM Apr 9th from web
61. Miro Museum, Teleferic up (gondala)deMontjuric (Barcelona hill), tour bus, incredible! I’m exhausted…happy 2:14 PM Apr 9th from web
63. Joined my daughter’s family for part of Seder in Paris via Skype from Barcelona. Who needs luggage) http//:www.momzen.blogspot.com 2:22 PM Apr 8th from web
65. Amazing! Sagrada Familia Cathedral started in 19th century, partially finished in 21st. http://tinyurl.com/2gxmnu 2:13 PM Apr 8th from web
67. We’re in Barcelona and our luggage is in Baltimore. Everyone except US Air is friendly and helpful.6:01 AM Apr 8th from web
69. United Air Lines still has Xmas music on their classical channel­inviting me to get into the holiday spirit.5:59 AM Apr 8th from web
71. Organizing my life for 19 days of travel. Tomorrow is packing day. Tonight is spreading everything everywhere. Time to clear off the bed.9:59 PM Apr 5th from web

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My reachback and afterburn are colliding big-time. I write to help myself think it sort things out so I decided to share this with you.

Those words, invented by Eric Berne, are the best description I know of the situation when finishing one task and preparing to start another run into each other.

Yesterday morning I woke up in Spain and here I am 38 hours later, home in Colorado. I haven’t opened my suitcase and that’s something I need to do today.

• I also need to unpack the suitcase,
• fill the empty refrigerator,
• sort almost 3 weeks worth of mail,
• do the laundry,
• sort out the messages I need to respond to
• and prepare to leave again in a week for the Conversations Among Masters
  conference.

Right now my befuddled brain can’t remember where the conference is. I know it’s somewhere in the Midwest. Jetlag is normal for me under these circumstances. What I would ordinarily do is wander around the house going from one task to another without making choices since they all need to be done.

Writing is an experiment to see if thinking a little bit will help make anything easier. Since Jonathan is in the same boat, I don’t really know if this can go out soon, but that’s OK.

I’ve been reading Byron Katie’s wonderful book, “A Thousand Names For Joy.” It contains her comments on her husband, Stephen Mitchell’s translation of the “Tao Te Ching.” The repeated emphasis of her acceptance of the world exactly as it is inspires me and I would love to get through this day completely accepting my own disorganization.

I’ve put my four-year-old grandson’s birthday card to his grandpa, laboriously printed on bright yellow construction paper, in a prominent place to remind me of the joy of the last two weeks. Now it’s time to get on with this part of my life.

If I can figure out how, I’ll move the Twitter posts on to this blog so you and I can both learn about journaling the trip using social media. This is pretty new to me but one thing I did do was more than quadruple the size of my Twitter list during my trip.

This is the first time I’ve had unlimited access to the Internet while traveling. It made the experience different. I think I like it.

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Technorati Tags: Self-Improvement, Personal Growth

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I don’t know who created this beautiful power point presentation. I wish I could thank and credit it’s creator. The story of “The Daffodil Principle” originally appeared nearly ten years ago in Jaroldeen Edwards’ book Celebration!

It spoke to me because long ago Jonathan and I were waiting until we had more money, until he finished his Ph.D., until we could move, until… Then we decided to stop waiting and start living. It was one of the best decisions we ever made.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. http://tinyurl.com/dhdq3p

This link will take you to a dialog box offering to let you open or download the file. You will need Power Point in order to view it, either online or on your own computer.
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Technorati Tags: Self Help, Self-Improvement, Personal Growth

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Laurie will be interviewed on Barbara Dixon’s Spirit Speaks blog radio talk show. Her topic is “How to Nurture Your Relationship During These Changing Times.”

Tune in at 10:00 a.m. ET on Monday, March 16. by clicking the Play button in the box below:

You will be taken directly to the online player for the interview.

If you would like to comment or ask questions during the interview, you can call in at (646) 727-3956.

Technorati Tags: Relationship Advice, Relationships, Self Help, Difficult Communication, Money

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Do you ever feel like you’re on the verge of something new and not quite sure what it is or what to do with it?

About 14 years ago we received a website as a gift from our son who had just become a webmaster — a
profession I had learned about only weeks earlier. We asked what we would do with it and he told us we would figure it out.

Of course we did figure it out, and the Empowerment Systems website is still growing strong. Not only that it seems to keep multiplying and now has several siblings. If you want to know what I’m talking about just visit http://www.EmpowermentSystems.com and explore. But that’s not exactly what I wanted to share
with you today.

When we attended the annual USATAA gathering in Jamaica a few weeks ago, I found myself in a strange time warp. I was revisiting my past and urging my friends and colleagues to move into the future.

Revisiting the past because my dear friend and first Transactional Analysis trainer, Fanita English, was part of the group. I bonded with her nearly 40 years ago when I did a really important piece of personal work as a part of my training. It literally changed my life in a wonderful way.

We’ve had many different kinds of experiences together since then and finally this time we both came to understand how multidimensional our long-term friendship really is. What an incredible treat for me!

The part about the future came in a discussion of how to revitalize the teaching of Transactional Analysis (TA) throughout the USA. The TA tools I first learned 40 years ago about how to understand, predict and change human behavior are still the basic tools I use to help my clients reach their goals.

While many parts of TA are part of the culture now like “different strokes for different folks” and “quit playing games with me”, most people still don’t understand the depth and richness and utility of these tools.

I’m not currently doing any TA teaching but I’ve put links to available training programs here so you can get to them easily. My friend Felipe Garcia is teaching a two day course in San Antonio soon, and there’s an ongoing training program in Fort Worth, Texas .

Once again I got off track — there’s so much to say — the week was very rich. I’ll put up pictures soon on my Facebook page as well as on my blog. I’ll explain why in a minute.

The Jamaica Gathering uses an Open Space format. It’s not like a conference where I need to design and submit what I’m going to say months in advance. It’s a place to share creative ideas and collaborate in their development — another treat for me.

And this time I completely surprised myself. I found myself offering a program on spreading TA information through social networking.

Now social networking (Think MySpace) is something as strange and new to me as a website was 14 years ago. I don’t know a lot about it and I keep wondering what I’m doing there, but I know it’s as important as my son knew the original website would be.

I’ll need to share more details about this  in the article I promised to write for the USATAA newsletter and website.

However, I have dipped my toes into the water. I’m active on three different networks where I am constantly discovering old and new friends in learning about new aspects of the world.

I’m not quite sure what I’m doing or where I’m going but the possibilities seem endless.

If you are there too, join me. In the common language of social networking “be my friend.” It’s fun, easy, potentially creative and it’s quite amazing.

I’m on Facebook (my space for grown-ups), LinkedIn (a business networking site), and Twitter (share only 140 characters at one time). It’s all about quickly and frequently updating information.

Here are the addresses:
Facebook: http://tinyurl.com/aczezk
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/laurieweiss
Twitter: http://twitter.com/LaurieWeiss

To join just go to the websites and follow the simple instructions. Come on in the water’s fine. Anyone can play — it’s easy. I admit I was scared at first — you may be, too — but it’s actually fun and only takes a few minutes.

BTW, The Masters Gathering is still offering lots of fabulous free information. Here is a link to an hour long podcast with the leading recognized raw foodist and super nutritionist David Wolfe, and Dr. Alex Loyd of the “Healing Codes.”
http://www.themastersgathering.com/LoydWolfe/?10728
Just click the link and listen to it right on your computer.

ALSO: Did you know that if someone steals the Exit sign on their way off your plane it can delay your
departure for 5 hours?

Technorati Tags: Communication, Self-Improvement, Transactional Analysis

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Mark your calendar now. I will be interviewed about relationships on Barbara Dixon’s Blog Talk
Radio Spirit Speaks Show at 10 am ET, Monday, March 16th.

Here is the link: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Spirit-Speaks

It’s an hour show where you can call in and ask questions. The call in number is (646) 727-3956.

I posted my pictures from Jamaica on Facebook. Here is the link:
http://tinyurl.com/bjssgc

You can go there even if you are not a Facebook member. Enjoy!

Warmly,

Laurie

PS I’ll send out another reminder of the show on the weekend.

PPS Follow me on:
Facebook: http://tinyurl.com/aczezk
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/laurieweiss
Twitter: http://twitter.com/LaurieWeiss

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Three Different Things For You Today

I have three things to share with you.

First, I just finished an amazing book. If have a loved one or friend who has had a stroke or brain injury you need to read this one.

“My Stroke of Insight” by Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D., is a first person account of a brain scientist’s report of her own stroke and recovery of brain function over a 9-year period. It blew me away.

Second, I also want to share something that Jonathan wrote (Jon has reclaimed his birth name) as we were developing material to let people know that we are actively offering couples counseling again.

It was a spontaneous statement of why couples should come to us for counseling. It didn’t quite fit into the webpage we were designing, but I think it’s a wonderful restatement of our lives together.

“…we want to share what we’ve learned with you!

Why us?

There are hundreds of people offering relationship advice on the Internet, and thousands more offline. How are you going to know who to listen to, who to trust with the most important part of your life?

All these adviser have credentials; so do we. They have all probably talked to lots of different people; so have we.

So what’s different?

Very simple: we have been there AND we have applied our training, knowledge, theories, understandings, etc., to our own personal and business lives, and have lived to tell the tale.

We have been married (TO EACH OTHER) for over 48 years, and we have experienced, survived, and grown from almost everything that two people together will ever run into:

• Major and minor moves, career changes, failures and successes;
• Stagnation, new directions, changing roles;
• Separations, distance, infidelity;
• A stillborn child — our first;
• Births;
• Children growing, grown, moving out, succeeding, failing;
• Teenage runaways, drug abuse, and impressive achievements;
• The deaths of all four parents — long illnesses, nursing homes, suicide;
• Investment successes and miserable failures;
• Giving advice, getting advice, using advice, ignoring advice, regretting advice;
• Laughing, yelling, grieving, plodding, creating, committing, sharing;
• Getting older, loving it and hating it.

Sometimes we think that the only important experience we have missed is the rich learning of a divorce, but we have worked with plenty of people before, during, after, instead of, preventing it or encouraging it,
that we think we have some wisdom anyway.”

We have also made our CD of our talk with marriage counselors about relationship development available as an online audio. You can listen to it right now I’m your computer, or download it to listen later. You can get it at this link: http://tinyurl.com/53wvyh

(Jonathan’s words again) “Listen to some REAL experts talk about what REALLY  happens in relationships, and how you can use the information to make a difference in yours.”

Third, I’ve agreed to help spread the word about a fr.ee tele-seminar being offered by my friend and colleague, Sharon Wilson. She is a leading transformational teacher who creates enormous success for the life coaches and entrepreneurs who work with her. She’s offering lots of bonuses when you register for the call.

So if you’re interested in how spirituality and business fit together, this will be a call you’ll enjoy. Watch for a post here with the title, “What’s been missing…” that you will show up on January 21. (It won’t sound like me, because I didn’t write it.)

Warmly,

Laurie
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Technorati Tags: Coaching, Emotional Problems, Personal Growth, Psychotherapy, Relationships, Self Help, Self-Improvement

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From a perspective of 15 years it is hard to sort out the many ways my journey with Judy impacted my own growth as a therapist. On this journey I learned to give up any illusions that I was in charge of the treatment process. I learned I could work in the moment, without a treatment plan, and that my responses could still be helpful and healing. She taught me that scrupulous honesty was not only possible but absolutely necessary to keep her trust.

Judy taught me about projective identification long before I had ever heard of the term. She desperately wanted me to understand how she experienced the world. When the words didn’t work, sometimes her outrageous actions did. Learning the meaning of those actions became an important part of our treatment process. Eventually her sculptures evoked her life experiences in me and in others.

I learned that there were some life experiences I have never had and could never imagine having. These were not only the experiences of abuse I had heard about from so many clients but the experiences of living in a different culture. Judy was clear that I had no survival skills for living in her world —­ “the street,” yet she was passionate about learning what I did know and generous, sometimes overly generous, in sharing her own knowledge.

I had to learn to set limits and explain and argue about rules and customs I take for granted. I learned how difficult it was to not impose my own culture on others. Most of all, I learned that when I did not know what to do, I could still love. In retrospect, I think that is what made the difference.
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This morning my life was a series of interruptions interrupted by interruptions. I suspect that during this holiday season, yours may be that way also.

My nicest interruption was to share the first night of Hanukkah with my daughter’s family in Paris while I was still in my jammies here in Colorado. Skype is truly a miracle that adds wonderful things to my life.

But back to the interruptions… We’re suddenly at the end of the year enjoying the pleasures and pressures of the holiday season. These pressures make me much more vulnerable to rediscovering my own hot buttons.

Have you found yours? Read the rest of this entry »

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